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Like arrows they should go further than we ever do
Before making the decision to have children, there are individual mindsets that should already be in place, so that the children come into a world where they are cared for and nurtured. When raising children, you are way past the decision-making process of having them, so it is important to do your personal best is available to them.
Nowadays, the trend is to blame the government and the school system for what should have been our job. As stated somewhere in the first chapter of any Sociology 101 book, the primary player in the socialization of children is the home, not the school, the police department, or the government. A good foundation at home is key.
Either ways (having or raising) it is good to have these values in mind. For people that are yet to have children, prior knowledge of these issues makes it easier to adhere to them when the time comes. We all say children are the future. If that’s really true (and it is), negligent parents need to start taking more responsibility for what they have always responsible for in the first place.
Here are a couple of random points to situations I’ve observed:
1. If you don’t have any kids, make a firm resolve not to have kids outside of wedlock. This will drive your pre-marital actions accordingly.
Every child deserves to grow up in a home, where both parents are present. Even though a lot of kids turn out okay despite being raised in single-parent households, there is usually a stigma they carry with them regardless of how much they mentally try to rise above it, or bury it. the moral of the point is this - if you were born into a family were both parents were present, appreciate and make sure your kids enjoy the same thing you enjoyed. If you didn’t, take a positive step to control that in the life of your kids.
2. Do not have or support abortions.
There is nothing like the right to choose. It’s a very good thing, but having the right to choose doesn’t mean you should choose amiss. You are alive today because you were not aborted. You were given the chance of life, would you rather repay that kindness by robbing a child of his/her chance of existence and experience life as you have?
3. Be nice to kids that live with you even if they are not yours.
In these situations, the kids are the casualties, not you. They did not ask to be in that situation. It happened to them due to the negligence of the adults in their lives. If they had a choice, they’d want differently. Children deserve to be loved and treated fairly. Remember they are human also and have feelings, have intellect and understanding, and pick up on things no matter how subtle. Remember that one day they’ll grow up and you may need their help someday. Basic rule of thumb, do unto others as you would want it to be done to you. Kids are not an exception to this rule. If you are nice to another person’s child, you open up the way for people to be nice to yours.
4. Spend time to train your kids while they are young.
Doing things right in the beginning would save you a lot of headache later on. That’s a given principle of everything in life. It’s better to take of care of precious vessels so they don’t break, rather than spending alot of time later trying to fix them because you chose to neglect. Nothing already broken can return to its original state without divine intervention. Two proverbs go: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” and “Spare the rod and spoil the child”. Everything a child becomes when they are grown, is as a result of what they learned while growing up, so you as a parent should take control of that.
5. Spend time with your kids.
It’s through spending time with them you are able to know whats going on in their lives, experience their good and bad habits, and try to shape up their character as best as you can. Also, when they are finally grown, you (or they) never have to feel like you missed out on their childhood. Children have resilient memories - you’d be surprised how a little gesture by you, or positive time with them can reap dividends in the future. Spending time initially is an investment and we should all understand the value of that investment. Play games with them, pick them up, tickle them, read them stories, teach them how to read, help them with their homework, teach them to be respectful to everyone and to be fair. Teach them to have dreams, chastise them when you have to, but never curse at them, call them bad names, or ill-treat them. Never tell them they can amount to nothing, but help to build their self-esteem. Teach them self-respect and self-worth, and how to make important decisions wisely especially when you are not there. Finally, be truly willing to sacrifice for you kids. The list goes on - having a child is hard work, but its also good work. Kids can be cute and fun to show off when they are young, just be sure to remember that they are real not toys.
6. Be a role model to your kids.
This is very important because if they look up to you, they will respect you and they will be proud of you. Do not try to manipulate them, because sooner or later, they will wisen up to your devises and lose faith in you. Continually give then sound advise, and they will take it and cherish it. Kids tend to do exactly what they see the parents doing. If your antagonistic and always getting into a fight for whatever reason you feel necessary, your kids are watching and will probably end up being just like you. If you are always fussing and fighting with your spouse (or anyone for that matter), they’ll think that’s how families should be. If your lazy and slothful, you will be passing your nasty habit to your kids. So remember that your children will emulate you. Be positive role models.
All the things listed above are easy to attain, if we have basic attributes such as love, kindness, patience, long-suffering, and the fear of God in our hearts. There’s a tendency to get caught up in the other worries of life, but we need to always have it at the back of our minds that our children are important. Raising a child and watching them blossom to be the great achievers of tomorrow (or even a “plain old” good person with strong character and moral fiber) can be one of the most rewarding experience you’ll ever have in your life because you’ll know it’s as a result of the good job you have done.
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