July 2nd, 2008 |  Print This Post |  Subscribe in a reader | Subscribe by Email |  

The idea of keeping things open…

It is common knowledge that privacy is a hot-button issue with a large number of people tirelessly advocating it. In many ways I believe that privacy is necessary in various aspects of society with issues related patient records, attorney/client privilege, trade secrets, and a handful of other circumstances, but I digress. For the purpose of this article when I speak of open truth I am referring to the absence of privacy between people that share a connection in particular reference to relationships like marriages and sincere friendships. Since everyone usually falls into one of the aforementioned relationship categories, each person should be able to relate at some level.

The idea behind open truth should not be an attempt to hypocritically find fault or point fingers at anyone, but to pose another alternative that is perhaps, worth pondering upon individually. Ever heard, or have at one point made statements like, “I won’t tell her because I don’t want to hurt her feelings” or how about, “If I told him, I’m not sure if he can ever forgive me…” or, “I don’t want them to think that I’m a bad person.” Everyone has probably made similar statements at one point or another. It is important to realize that my intention is not to advise or encourage people to divulge catastrophic secrets or damaging information - that is a personal choice. As said earlier I only provide an alternative worth thinking about. Being human, we have all done outlandish things that should theoretically not see the light of day. To understand what an open truth principle can foster in any relationship, there is a need to understand the rewards that it typically provides.

Open truth is the absence of the need to hide something, and the clearness of heart to keep everything open and truthful at all times. This can only be possible if there isn’t a reason to be untruthful in the first place.

I’ll use me for an illustration. I hate lies. I don’t like lying to people, and I definitely hate being lied to – especially by people I care about, or things I care about. Unfortunately being human, I am fully aware that I am prone to telling a couple of fibs now and then. One thing I have noticed however is that when I am dealing with someone (friend or acquaintance), because I dislike lies so much I have conditioned myself to make a conscious effort to do things that don’t cause me to lie. I have found that if I do things that necessitate lies, most invariably I would end up lying. Thus, the only way I can truly foster open truth, is to steer clear of situations that would cause me to be untruthful in the upcoming future. Obviously this could be hard to accomplish, but good things they say don’t come easy – you don’t know if you would have succeeded if you never tried.

The benefit of at least trying, hard at it may be, is that eventually you don’t have to try so much because it becomes second nature to you. The conditioning becomes a habit; the habit becomes a principle or way of life, and so on. Once again, to effectively practice open truth there has to be a desire to ensure that you do things on a daily basis that you are not afraid or ashamed to divulge when a question is posed. Of course, that is the ideal thing.

So what does open truth foster between two people? It fosters trust, which contributes to happiness and peace of mind. For an individual, open truth contributes to the development of a strong character – a check mark in the area of personal development.

About Trust – Others learn to rely on you. Your word is bond.

About Happiness – You generally live, and possibly contribute to another’s happier life because you are happy with yourself, and they with you.

About Peace of Mind – You don’t have to keep stressing about if and when the cat will be let out of the bag, how you would deal with it, or what additional lies you have to concoct to further cover things up.

About a Strong Character – You character is strengthened because you develop the willpower to move away from situations or things that compromise the ideals of being open and truthful.

As I said earlier, the idea behind open truth is to pose another alternative that is perhaps, worth pondering upon individually. Everyone makes their own decisions on what choices to make. If this inspires a decision to practice honesty and openness, that is great. If you find that you disagree with the general ideas discussed about open truth, that is also an alternate decision to make!

On Facebook? Join the Insight & Foresight blog network. Thanks!