August 22nd, 2008 |  Print This Post |  Subscribe in a reader | Subscribe by Email |  

On a recent travel out of the United States for a short vacation the idea for a brief discussion on courtesy occurred to me while on the plane. From casual observation, it is obvious that for some, courtesy is fast becoming one of the lost arts (or so it seems). I am constantly on the lookout for topics to write about that either supplements, complements, or splendidly diversifies other articles I have written in the past. This article is slightly different from others in that I polled a small handful of friends and colleagues and asked them these questions,

“In your opinion what situation readily comes to mind that requires the display of courtesy on your part?”

“What type of situations would you like to be on the receiving end of courteous behavior from some else?”

If you can come up with other instances where courtesy should be practiced, feel free to share them in the comments section below.

About Courtesy

Courtesy is the act of displaying politeness, civility, or good manners to others. Courtesy comes in different flavors, and people are courteous for different reasons. Either because it is known to be one of the right thing to do, or because there is a compelling force, like when it is part of a job description. Regardless of the motive, courtesy is a good habit to develop and constantly display.

Situations to be Courteous

There are many situations to practice courtesy, and the list is endless. The following may be familiar, or not so familiar, but ultimately, they should make immediate sense.

When Your Assistance is Needed

Have patience with people especially when they require your assistance, and be nice at the same time without showing frustration even if it exists. This is more for people in the customer service industry as most times incentives (bonuses, tips, etc) depend on it. When paying for a service, it does get annoying when you are being deliberately ignored. However, it is necessary to point out that as a customer, one should also reciprocate courtesy.

When a Person is Ignored or Excluded

When you host (or co-host) of an event, you should engage said person in conversation, especially when he/she came alone, and everyone else knows each other. This gesture on your part will always be welcomed. You can also introduce them to other people and hang around till initial awkwardness dissipates and the conversation gets comfortable, before leaving. This makes the ignored feel welcome, and realize newfound respect for you. Otherwise they may leave feeling disrespected, left out and unwanted. If you are not a host, you can still do this.

Ask Before Taking, and Not After!

Situations like this occurs everyday, and I see it countless times on plane flights – local and international. People board the plane, and for one reason or another, automatically take the next seat over that was not assigned to them. When the assigned owner shows up, there is the momentary confusion on his/her face, which is followed at some point by the request by the trespasser, “Oh I’m sorry, do you mind sitting over there? That’s my seat.” Usually the person says no problem – no need to cause a scene, right? Most times it doesn’t even matter, but nowadays frequent flyers usually have pre-selected seating preferences. Sometimes seat choices are picked during check-in. This is a situation where it is just more courteous to ask before taking and not after, otherwise the result of continued action will one day result in an embarrassing confrontation.

When Getting Something to Eat or Drink

Whenever you are about to get something to eat, it is courteous to ask those around you if they would also like you to get something for them. Most times people would thank you and say no. If they say yes, it is courteous of them to offer their share of money if a cost of purchase is involved. Also, it is usually rude to munch on something that can be shared without offering some to those around you.

Making Introductions

One of the instances cited multiple times is a situation where someone accompanies you to a gathering/party. Sometimes either by mistake or by habit, people forget to introduce their escort when initially greeting friends or acquaintances. It is courteous to introduce him/her to your friends when you say your initial hellos. Usually someone speaks up, and gives a subtle (or rather obvious) reminder; else, your guest just stands around, feeling weird.

Holding the Door

This is probably the most common display of courtesy. This happens very often when in a hurry or engrossed in thought. A person knows that there is someone immediately behind him/her but keeps going without holding the door open, because he don’t want to be slowed down. By using judgment, depending on how far away you are from the person, it may not be as rude if the distance between (within the realms of courtesy) doesn’t warrant that you do. Try not to be responsible for the door swinging shut in their face.

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Again, if you have additional instances or examples of when courtesy would be a good idea, feel free to include them as comments. By doing this, people can gain from your contribution.

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