September 4th, 2008 | by O.A. Wisen
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This immediately follows previous post, So You Want to Be A Good Husband, and tackles some points discussed for the husbands, from a woman’s perspective. Though the wife’s function may be different from the husband’s, but is just as important. Undoubtedly, a good wife plays a very important role in the home, but time and instances have shown that this need not be her only relevant role.

There is a lot of ground to cover when looking at what makes a good husband or a good wife, and there are some similarities between both – expect to see some overlap. It is a good idea for a husband or a wife (or interested party) to read both articles and see what can be garnered from them. So, what are some of the things it takes to be a good wife?

Love

“Behind every great man is a great woman”. If a man is married to a not-so-great woman in certain aspects, the tendency that he would never achieve his greatness is very possible as the wife plays an important role in the fulfillment of his pursuits regardless of whether or not she’s aware of it. The greatness of the woman evident in her husband’s success is attributed to love. She loves him, and sticks by him through thick and thin, through successes and failures. She becomes his trusted confidant.

A good wife should always be the gentle whisper of counsel, and not the loud voice of scorn. It does not do much good to put undue pressure or strain on him. Understand his limits and shortcomings and help him overcome them with subtlety – women are generally better at subtlety than men are.

If for whatever reason you despise your husband, try to alter the mindset before it engulfs you and totally corrupts you. Issues can never be positively healed through hate, but through love.

Trustworthiness

Both husbands and wives want to be able to trust whoever they share a spousal relationship with. A good wife should always foster a trustworthy attribute, and her husband should always be able to trust her confidently. One good way to establish trustworthiness is to promote openness with her husband just as he should with her.

Mind and Body

A good wife should take care of herself mentally, emotionally. She should continue to pursue knowledge and understanding (particularly understanding as pertaining to her husband) to develop her mind and her emotions accordingly. She should take care of her body, keep fit and remain attractive as often as she can. This helps her to keep her shape and look good for herself and for her husband. Men have always appreciated good-looking women; that will never change. In some instances where the husband doesn’t appear to mind an unfit wife, I reckon that when given the option to pick: fit and always attractive or out of shape and nonchalant about appearance, he would tend to pick the former.

Family Finance

A good wife is careful about how she spends money and stretches the family finances when spending on things such as grocery shopping, shopping for the children’s essentials, or shopping for herself. She tempers her desires with reality, and adheres to the family budget.

A good wife wouldn’t push too hard for what she knows she cannot have due to financial constraints, because that may put unwanted pressure on her husband, or make him feel inadequate in his ability to satisfactorily provide for her needs and wants. Just as much as a wife likes to have nice things, a good husband would like to be the man that can make it happen. That may not always be possible.

Deference

A good wife defers to her husband and is always happy to honor him. She doesn’t do this grudgingly or as an afterthought. This is not only recommended for his sake, but hers also. A good wife would generally flow with this quality and not overanalyze why she should. Most husbands like to be noticed, regarded, honored, preferred, venerated, and esteemed.

Success and Ambition

As a good wife, it is okay to be ambitious and very successful, but it is not a good idea to be overly competitive at home with your husband. Most men are competitive by nature; they like to compete with everyone, but never care to have competitive wives. Competing with everyone is tiresome. There’s no need for the wife to throw herself into the mix. If a woman is competitive, she should channel her competitive spirit outside of the home in places where it would reap benefits for her, and her home. Competition at home messes up the dynamics of the home being a safe haven (resting place) from the outside world of competition. As competition is generally stressful it makes sense that most people would definitely not want to be married to their competition.

Forward Thinking

A good wife thinks ahead and plans ahead for the family. She is aware of things that go on in her house, and does not waste time with idle gossip and unprofitable issues with other people. She is more concerned about developing her children and her home, and making her home a happy one. She is hardworking and also good at multitasking. She does not disregard her household duties if she has other obligations in parallel. She never neglects her husband or children and never pursues less important agendas.

A Role Model

A good wife is a good role model to her children; because of that, her children look up to her and they cherish her. Given her position in the family, she should especially be a role model to her daughters all the way up to marriage. No one can guide or mentor them as she can, and she should not allow anyone else to replace her in that role.

Character

She has strength of character and carries herself well; her self-esteem is high; she comforts and encourages; she is hardworking, resourceful, and hospitable. She is secure because her family environment is conducive for a sense of security. She looks ahead, and never dwells on past ills. She speaks intelligently and does not back-bite, smear others, or philander.

__________________________

A good wife will always be a woman of worth. She does good things that are profitable to her husband and her marriage. She is valuable to her husband and should not be a cause of shame to him. She ensures that her family is properly fed and cared for on a daily basis. Due to her admirable qualities, her husband is respected by friends and others. Because of her worth, her husband constantly appreciates her, and boasts about her because he is pleased with her.

Thanks to the young lady who lent her perspective.

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