August 1st, 2009 | by O.A. Wisen
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A fair number of relationship problems usually begin with selfishness on someone’s part. Sometimes, it’s harder to figure out who the actual selfish spouse is. These reasons can also apply to relationships that are gearing up towards marriage, or personal relationships in general that are considered worthwhile. Obviously, it’s one thing to know a something, and another to successfully execute it.  But the more you know and attempt to execute a piece of knowledge, the closer you are to eventual success.

If you find that you are in a marriage with recurring fights and issues, these problems eventually spread their tentacles and start to suffocate you. It is important both spouses (or parties) jointly come to resolutions that work. Some negative effects of constant squabbling are listed below.

1. The possibility of being overwhelmed by the issues, which can cause you to be more tired and more irritable each day.
2. A deterioration in your ability to continually nurture your mind and body towards better improvements due to aforementioned tiredness and irritability.
3. When you can’t continue to nurture your mind and body adequately, you begin to develop traits that didn’t exist before, or fall back to bad habits you had worked so hard to eradicate previously.
4. It may begin to spill over to your job and career.
5. It may begin to spill over to other relationships you have with friends and relatives.
6. If the situation(s) gets so bad, you may suddenly realize that a correction or an ability to correctly address the issue would be tougher than if nipped in the bud earlier.
7. Situation may form lasting, and perhaps irreversible impressions on those involved, including your children (if children are in the family).
8. You may purposely portray a don’t-care attitude as a shield, which would be especially silly if deep down you really do care.
9. Worse case, if you do end up divorcing, it may bring its own headaches, stress and regrets of having a marriage (even if the subsequent marriage is “better”).
10. A first divorce could potentially open up a can of worms because  people tend to be more open to a course of action especially when it’s not the first time, and they previously came out of it “relatively” unscathed.

The take away is that everyone will be faced with issues, and will continue to experience them – some more than others. However, what should be the focus is how efficiently (effectively and in a timely manner) we can deal with these issues so they don’t become major problems down the line.

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